The Politics of “Office” Hookups

Oh man, it’s awesome being employed. Like, seriously, making money is so much more fun than not having any money. By a long shot. As an added bonus, I actually like my job, as crazy as that sounds. I mean, sure, it’s not as much fun as blogging, but nobody’s paying me to blog so that’s kind of a moot point. But for what it is—waiting tables at a Mexican restaurant in downtown Austin—it’s pretty great. It’s not too difficult a job, it pays pretty well, and most importantly, I like the people. I’ve often found that the better I get along with my coworkers the more I enjoy the job.

And the other waiters who work there are generally pretty awesome. I get along with all of them, we joke and make fun of each other and hang out outside of work. Considering I don’t know too many people in this city, it’s really nice having access to an entirely new circle of friends. One of the big things I was worried about concerning my move to Austin was finding fun people to hang out with and not spending all of my time in my apartment watching reruns of House. Now I don’t have to worry about that any more.

In fact, not only are my coworkers very cool, but some of them are also very cute. The majority of the other servers are ladies, and of those the majority are quite attractive, another plus of working there. Some of said attractive ladies are in relationships, which is lame, but some of them are single, which is decidedly not lame. Narrowing down that list even further (servers>ladies>attractive ladies>single attractive ladies), I am interested in two of them.

This is an interesting situation that I’ve never found myself in before. At my last job, there was one girl I was interested in, it was abundantly clear that she was also interested in me, and we acted on our mutual interest in each other by boning. Easy peasy. At my job before that there was nobody I was interested in, which was even easy peasier but resulted in much less boning. This time, however, things are complicated… pomplicated.

So there are two girls I’ve been flirting with, Betty and Bethany. Now I’m a notorious flirt, and seems like they are too, so this doesn’t really signify anything. I have no idea if either of them know that I want more than friendship. Being in this position (and wanting to be in another position, if you know what I mean*), I have to tread very lightly. First of all, I probably have to pick one of them on whom to focus my attention. If I launch an assault on one of them (not a literal assault, unless they’re into that sort of thing), I will almost certainly lose any chance at scoring with the other.

But not necessarily. If I go out with my coworkers and we get drunk and there is dancing and I happen to hook up with Betty, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I can’t hook up with Bethany later on. It will probably get me a reputation as a manwhore, but really I’m okay with that. However, hooking up with both of them would undoubtedly deny me a chance at having something serious with either of them, which I wouldn’t want with Bethany but might with Betty.

Here’s the trickiest situation of them all: if I go after one of them, and get shot down, I can’t immediately launch an assault on the other. Obviously my coworkers all talk to each other about everything, so it would get around that I had been shot down. I don’t mind being thought of as a manwhore, but if I get a reputation for being a creeper who hits on every girl I work with, that would suck.

So, to reiterate, treading lightly is the key here. I really just need to let things develop, not force anything, and if I’m out with a group, only go in for a kiss if I’m absolutely certain it will be returned… and of course it will get even more complicated if I’m hanging out with both of them at the same time. But hopefully if I’m in that situation my head will explode from thinking too much about everything and I won’t have to worry about any of that anymore.

*I probably mean doggy style.

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Tags: Bethany, Betty, dating, Friends, girlfriend, Relationships, Sex, Work

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